"Losing Control".

Most singers talk about seeking greater control over their instrument. Thats actually the opposite of what I coach and not at all how the best singers think about their voices. But an honest misunderstanding of what we do as singers.

Control is something we want to feel we have over our voices so that the notes we hit are "true", the pitch is "correct" and the tone "pleasing".
Yes, of course we want all that and more, but when we focus of "control" of our voices as our goal we actually limit what is possible!

All kinds of problems crop up when singers are focused on "control" as their goal. The first of which is a potentially clenched throat with muscles that are straining and pushing on the chords to create sound.
(That's why I use the tongue out during the "sigh" or AAAAAAHHHHHH exercise in this first of The Basics of Singing Video's, it allows us to get used to the neck muscles letting go and relaxing during the process of making tone).

Diaphragm muscles that become tense during the process of breathing are also an unfortunate byproduct of seeking control in our singing. Thats the kind of "support" that leaves us tired out and exhausted in the process of making music. Without a relaxed diaphragm everything a singer is trying to do it in jeopardy.
Thats why we focus on filling a balloon or inner tube around our torso (just under the rib cage) as we fill up with air, (see video),and completely relaxing as the air leaves our body (and the imaginary balloon deflates), with no squeezing or pushing involved at all.

Eventually the open "sigh" with a relaxed diaphragm can become the template for all of our vocalizing and I recommend singers work with this exercise at the top of any warm up session before singing.

We think our job is to "sound good", "sing well" and have "good pitch".
Sure, but all of those are byproducts of good technique and focusing on much more useful stuff.

Our job as singers is to be able to "feel" the lyric, "inhabit" the melody of the song and express the emotions that the material creates, so that our audience can go on their own journey with us.

But how are we going to be open and available and free to express the music when we are busy pushing, straining and seeking "control" of our voices?
Thats the wrong message to be sending our body and indeed a limiting way of working our instruments.

A New Concept for Self Management

Something very interesting came to light in a recent Career Strategy seminar. Although we usually perceive our career challenges to be a result of the music industry not allowing us to move ahead, in fact my experience has shown me that if we are having trouble reaching our goals the actual place to look should be ourselves. Our Fears. Our Beliefs. Our own Behaviors.

Taking responsibility for our part in the forward motion of our careers is the single most important factor in success in this business. After all we have no control over outside circumstances but we can in fact make changes within ourselves that could hugely influence our ability to move ahead in this industry.

Perhaps this suggests a new concept around the term "self management"!

When I look back at any of the "mistakes" or misguided moments in my career there is usually my own inability to gain a larger perspective at the bottom of the situation.

When the stakes are high we usually explode with expectations both of ourselves and the people who are supposed to be helping us. We become full of anger and disappointment when things don't go our way, sometimes sustaining irreparable damage in the process.

Regardless of whether folks are really on our team, we become deeply suspicious of their loyalty, their abilities and their desire to see us succeed. This only leads to the kind of break down of communication where no one seems to be working towards the same objective and start fighting with each other instead of towards a united goal.

Almost all of us could think of a time when if we had stepped back and gained a larger perspective we could have acted with more clarity about the situation. It's only our fears and insecurities that keep our perspective small.

Reaching our goals should never be done at the expense of our decency or our humanity…and certainly never by treating people badly. That only works when we have leverage of some kind, and people might be letting us get away with it..but believe me they are talking behind our backs and the word gets out fast.

Do you want to be the person everyone "puts up with"? (and only as long as the cash is flowing!) Believe me you don't want to be on the receiving end of the pay back once your wave has crested (and they all do) and you are the other side of perceived "success" having treated people with arrogance and impatience. Trust me, people have long memories in this industry.

Diva behavior is just fear disguised as arrogance. Everyone knows it.

"Self Management" is about staying healthy inside so your sense of self isn't dependent on the outside circumstances of your career. Dig into your self and see where you feel strong and where you feel weak. Put your attention on straightening your sense of self there and you will create the kind of attractive powerful calm and peaceful energy that will attract all kinds of people and situations to you.