Notes From The Playground: "Perfectionism".
Almost every "successful" artist that I have worked with as a coach has suffered from the terrible affliction of perfectionism. It drives us in negative ways that almost always make us crazy and difficult to work with. But what is it exactly?
The drive to "get it right" married to an insecurity about ourselves?
The inability to accept anything less than the best from ourselves and others combined with a dread that we will never get it "right".
What a horrible conflicted place to sing and perform from!
Sure we all want to do the best we can, BUT (and this is a really big BUT), how do you rehearse in new material if you don't allow the songs to take shape, How do you allow a new player to find his place in he arrangements if you cant accept that it will take time…
and how will you allow yourself the trial and error of discovery so you can grow as an artist if you won't let yourself explore new territories free of the need to "be perfect".
Sadly there is never a feeling of having "arrived" with perfectionism. Although many perfectionists are big achievers, in truth the main feeling associated with perfectionism is that of constantly failing. A lack of patience for ourselves and others.
And we are awful to work with. You can see us coming. We're desperate to achieve the results we desire, so we learn how to manipulate those around us. But we don't listen well, we cant slow down. we have no patience and no real generosity to others..
Perfectionist don't feel how unreasonable their demands are upon themselves or others.
We are driven by the vision in our head but we cant live easily in the real world.
Next Post: How to release the strangle hold that perfectionism has on your life and your work.